Recurring dream

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A boy sees in his dream – he who shall not be named is plotting to kill a certain someone and the boy wakes up with a burning sensation on his forehead.. this recurring dream ..

Well, I know no magic and certainly, my dreams (technically nightmares) aren’t about death and killing, at least not in the recurring nightmare I want to talk about. It usually goes like this –

Pick a subject – physics or chemistry – that I am attending the class and I am not able to follow anything being taught. But more than that, I realize that the syllabus is huge and I haven’t studied or worked on this since the beginning of the class. The exams are just around the corner. I feel a certain fear that is really gripping, at least in my dreams, that I wake up. Sometimes I shake myself in the dream to wake myself up because certain subconscious might realize that it is not a true scenario.

I wake up and realize that itch in the forehead..well not actually. I wake up and realize that unlike the boy in the story, my dream has nothing to do with reality. There are no exams to be written, there is no studying to be done, and usually, there is no deadline that I fear of.  Only occasionally these dreams preface some interview preparation. Not that interviews are anywhere nearly as stressful as appearing for exams.

What’s strange is that these nightmares have been a constant companion for me for last 7-8 years, ever since I completed MBA, although never have the dreams been about MBA classes. It has always been about my engineering classes or my high school (pre-university) classes. Somewhere the scars of engineering syllabus were rekindled in the pressure chamber of MBA ( but MBA pressure was never about clearing tests, but more about job search and so on), I guess.

A good thing about these nightmares? Once I wake up, and sometimes I need to wake up completely to make certain that I am out of this nightmare and back to reality…once I realize that there isn’t really any deadline, any lack of preparation – in fact in most cases there is no preparation needed or definitely, there is nothing that needs to be committed to memory  – and definitely, that I am not facing a fork in the road – one of a pass and one of a fail, and that anything I do either is going to be OK or I still have an opportunity to  make it great – once such a relief and realization dawns, I look forward to a great day.

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