Due to unbelievable timing, I was an employee of a company for merely 2-3 days. But even today, I can’t forget the intro speech by the HR. A Malayalee, wearing modest cloths than even his junior (who was in business professional), gave a short talk. It had nothing to do with the company or the work we were supposed to do! With his piercing eyes and voice, he talked about a generic topic but that would help grow each person.

He started off by asking the employees to list their idol person. I had two in my mind – Ramanujam and my father. When he said, for the sake of the batch to relate, we should list a familiar name, I remained with Ramanujam. Then he went around the class asking why is that person our idol and what made him successful. It was obvious that he was looking for a common thread and something more powerful that applies to everyone. I had the right answer, passion.(1)

His talk after that had nothing to do with the company (which is the usual orientation speech), or with our career in that company. I was humoring myself if that was because he was as new as us, that he doesn’t know and can just do with a generic talk. But even today, the way he spoke remains with me. It was about motivation, passion and one’s personal growth. I grew a lot of respect for him and wished I could know him more.

**
I often told my friends during my job changes, that ‘I know this is not what I want to do, but I don’t know what I want to do’. Somewhere that time I read a book or an article, which said, it is OK not to know what we really want to do. That gave me some relief, otherwise I was being worried that I was so clueless. Some get that earlier in life, some realize later, it said. I just hoped it is not ‘never’ for me.

The picking of concentration/focus in MBA , the job hunts were mostly elimination process than selection process.

**

The one thing I did just pre-MBA and during MBA is to try out various activities – try out to know if I like them. I like being busy 🙂

**

Over the last few weeks and months, though I am back in the confusion mode. For one, I have incredibly talented friends, and I continue to be in a complex. During various conversations, it would come up to how I spend my time. I go to parties, events, talks, read enormous amounts of articles, watch movies, lots of videos etc while they do productive activities like art, electronic projects, building up businesses etc.

What I am not sure is if my activities are passions or just fillers. One conversation went like this :

P: How do you get time to read/post so much on Facebook/Twitter.
Me: Huh, that’s all I do. I post less than 5% of what I read ! I have no life – no kids, no family – with plenty of time, all I do is being an internet junkie. ( I wasn’t being self-deprecating, but that’s just what it is…)
P: What is your passion ?
Me: I don’t know if I have one
P: Everyone does, you just need to find it.
Me: Hmm
P: What would you do if you had all the money and time in the world
Me: I would watch movies, read and write*.
P: Then it seems you are living your life !

(* I would really like to write a lot; I also said, I would work towards getting into better health; also my another friend reminded my another interest to travel the world)

But the thing is, none of them are what you may call my ‘passions’.
**

1. He then went on to describe his life and his rise in his career – though he was in late 30s or early 40s, given that he started his career very late due to other constraints, his rise was commendable.