Menasinakayi bonda/baji is one of my favorite dishes.

Every time, it is a suspense, risk because one never knows how the mirchi is going to be – either khara (hot/spicy) or normal. When I already know it is khara, like it happened this time, there are two minds and surprisingly I end up eating every time. It is for the lure of temporary tasty pleasure and an ever lasting memory of the taste.

Initially when bitten, it is tasty, salivates, everything is normal. Just before the sudden flood of khara, which suddenly blacks out the brain cutting off all senses, though for a short time. Eyes get closed as if to confirm to the brain’s action. Ears shut off to the surrounding sounds. When right/wrongs become one, pleasure/pain become meaningless. When time stands still. I just wish to stay in that trance, though will be pulled back in time. (Otherwise what is the point!) When I open the eyes, they are all teary, blurred. I take a minute or so to get back to normal.

There is this small regret for having to go through all this just for that temporary feeling of taste. But then the memory of the taste lingers. Taste does not remain, just the memory does – as if it was some good feeling, not sure of what exactly it was. Memory of blurry teared eyes remain.

And when I got the chance again, I went for it. The menasinakayi baji. All over once again.