I propose we celebrate today, March 5th every year as Lamentine day. Lets celebrate the joys of lamenting by allocating a special day for it. Why today, why not 15th of March? Don’t ask me. From the divine powers that be, it suddenly dawned upon me, through an body-less sound’s sound suggestion(ashareeravani- similar to the ones that came from clouds in Mahabharata) that this day is as auspicious as any other and I should immediately announce to the world – I am merrely carrying out the order. Actually the initial name I thought was Lamenter’s Day or Ranter’s Day or Cribber’s day..but since Lamentine rhymes with its another cousin day, I have zeroed in on this name.
So, what do we do on this day. We lament. Like valentine’s day, on L day we will show our talent by cribbing about anything and everything. At anything bad (as usual) and also at anything good. For example, you hear phone ringing and you start saying “This phone was one of the very annoying inventions ever made. It rings loud..it rings when not required. It invades the peace and privacy. It is more of a luxury to owner than a necessity….” You see Tv and start saying”This is one of the most dangerous inventions ever made..it deprives children of their physical activity, it wastes time, it is rightly an idiot box….”.
We lament/rant/crib about work (as usual), money, politicians, nature of people, imperfect and imbalanced society, infrastructure, partners,..you get the point. We will even lament about lamenting.
Unlike some other days which particularly target specific people (women/fathers/mothers/lovers), we dont discriminate anyone and our day is open to celebration by all people who are capable of cribbing given any situation.
I can even envision the future for this day – as usual the card companies will come up with some funny cards that could be exchanged with fellow lamenters. There would be contests on Fm radio to identify who the best cribber is. “I will give you a situation and all you have to do is tell me how many minutes you can rant on this topic..message me your expected duration and I will give you a call to the lucky person..”
What are the advantages, you ask ?
Plenty. First of all you will feel proud that you have the basic necessity to be called a lamenter – a mouth and the knowledge of a language. You will be so proud that it will increase your confidence at tackling the same. You will perhaps be able to laugh at yourself going by how illogically you could rant, or laugh at others. When you realize that there are so many who are willing to complain, you will feel not to be left alone. And most importantly, once you speak out what sits in your mind, you will be happy to take on next step (probably search for topic for next cribbing).
<strong>Why, you ask, should we have a reserved day for lamenting, when we (can) do that all days in the year. The answer is same as why we have Valentine’s day. :)</strong>
Ok, got to go now. Need to create orkut community, design badges, hold press conferences and processions to spread the awareness.
Long live lamenting.
Ps: This post should be categorized under its own category – Rant, for this is not completely satire/humour.
Pps: Did I “take” a break from blogging ? No. Do I resume to post as earlier ? Don’t know.