I have this enormous repulsion towards few people that repeatedly blinds me to their positives and magnifies their not-positives. I have let many instances where I can pounce upon, pass by me and remain unaffected but with these people it is as if I am just waiting to capture that every oppurtunity. Actually when I do look back, it is not that I hate the people, not even dislike them, but pure can’t-stand-you feeling.
Sometime ago, there was a similar incident and the character is the sameperson. He saw a flashy car and cribbed “I don’t have such a car” (( ನನ್ನ ಹತ್ರ ಅಂಥ ಒಂದು ಕಾರ್ ಇಲ್ವಲ್ಲಾ ಅಂಥ :()) (the conversation was in Kannada and the original sentence was even more full of cribbing – it was with such a tone that indicated “sadness” “hopelessness” “anger-towards-destiny” all together ). Now that tone and that formation of sentence was what irked me most.
Needing/wanting a car is different. Not having a car is different. And I with utmost patience and with a very un-emotional and controlled voice decided to enlighten him.
“I do not understand why if it had to be any diffrerent. I mean, lets look from other direction. Why is that you “should have had” a car by now ?” His reaction, as expected, was a reaction to unexpected reply. He wanted me to sympathize/join him. He was silent. I grabbed the chance to continue my onslaught (In kannada with choiciest of effective words -eg ನಿನ್ನ ಯೋಗ್ಯತೆ ಏನಯ್ಯ ? – and my tone I am sure I was hurting and as well as making a point crystal clear). “Lets see if you deserved to have had a car by now. There are few cases where one at an as early age as yours could have owned a car. Lets see. Do you have a rich industrialist father, who could have gifted you a car in your early teens to even go to your college ? (( I do not mean any disrespect to any father for not doing so, and I told him that. It was just that this is the easiest logically possible thing)) Or have you won any lottery ? Ok, lets leave the “luck and chance” thing aside, have you done any thing remarkably great and ‘earned’ a lot of money – say like Sabir Bhatia – at an early age ? You have been just an engineer with less than 2 years experience and if you have had to own a car by now, you should have been earning and saving x many thousands a month, are you doing that ? Being a software engineer you are earning quite more than many others and at least you could desire/hope/plan to own a car after a few years where as there are others who could not even hope or plan now. I do not understand why you should have had a car by now, by any reason ! It simply means that either you haven’t worked towards it (like stealing!) or you do not deserve it. When you have not done anything and there was no other way by which you could have had a car, where is the point of worry ? Do you think otherwise ? ”
“Ha, of course if you had said “I want/wish to buy a car”, that would have made sense. But “Aiyyo I do not have a car” does not make any sense. Agree ? “. He nodded.
I was happy I could drive home the point with a neutral voice and with good words 🙂 Also now I keep a watch on myself if I complain for not having what I do not deserve.