Tch. I never thought I would use my blog as FOW.
Never; for theree resasons:
1)There is never an end.
2)Its about people (so far!) and as per the saying, only small minds discuss people and I better be discussing ideas !
3)This site is *my* real estate and I should not give space to others. As the tagline says, it is about “my life and thoughts”.
However today, I will slightly digress to note about a peculiar person, who has least respect for himself, which is partly fair, but he constantly tries to see his nature in everyone else. On finding that others are different, he focuses his energy to find defects !
The other day I was asked by him if my English is good. According to my knowledge and belief, it is. I might not form outstanding sentences but I believe they are free from common errors and most importantly I have been able to communicate well the scenarios or situations. And I pointed to this.
The answer which he did not expect and like. He was looking for a companion in lowering self esteem or looking for a sympathizer, “No dude..I am also as bad as you are”.
Unable to digest an unexpected reply, he questioned me again to confirm. If I were half smart as I am now, for now I am experienced of the aftermaths, I should have predicted what was in store and should not have affirmed my earlier stand.
From that day started the torture. Fresh from dictionary words were hurled at me and the meaning was expected from me. The grammar questions replaced the customary greetings. On my ignorance about the answer, I was duly reminded of my earlier claim.
This continued so much that given a normal man, has three options:
1)Go and upgrade English so much that you know all possible words in dictionary. This is called improvisation or defending mechanism.
2)Go and fall to his feet demanding his mercy over the egotistic statement you made in ignorance, and beg him to stop the vocabulary war. This is surrendering mechanism.
3)Shoo him off ! This is called offending mechanism.
If you know my nature, you might have rightly predicted my choice – No.3.
But did I succeed ? No. The reasons are for another story.
Did I fall prey to him again with my “foot in the mouth” statements ? Yes. These details are detained from the general public, because it requires lot of explanations and I have least energy to write.
Anyways continuing from the experiences, let me record the lessons learnt. But before that, you know what ?! I do not deny that I have been part of similar plot but with a role reversal ! (But of course , not this harassing but in my own gentle way). But the important point that should not go un noticed is the fact that, in all such cases, where I had to bring home the point, the start was never from me. It was the other person who blew his trumphet right into my ears and he flaunted his ego on sleeve. Added with “in-the-face” behaviours.
And even then, in most cases, unless *I* was condemned or belittled, I did not return the assault. Unless that, I never bothered about other person’s high-headedness or his foolishness. As you can see, it is all about *myself* 🙂 This approach has given me clarity in many actions and decisions. Selfishness and its benefits, is a topic of another post.
I know what inferiority complex has done to me and I know what confidence has done to me. Inspite of difficulties associated with the latter, (such as this post explained) it is forgone conclusion that it is advantageous to accept latter than the former.
PS : 1. Let me know of English errors above, if any before someone else catches it 😀
2. The above person is much more than this post. But as I said earlier, this space is not to describe him.